27 Feb 2012 @ 11:34 PM 


There comes a point in the mad scramble before work, when you’ve already looked in all the normal locations for your keys – twice – and you find yourself revisiting all those same spots in a loop.  When you’ve looked at where they should be for the third time, hoping that they magically reappeared,  it can truly make you insane.  In that fifth trip around the house, you’re ready to just call into work crazy and watch The Price is Right dressed in clown makeup while they fit your for a straightjacket.

Just in case this happens to you, I’ve given you a quick-reference here for more places to look.  Here are:

More Places You Might Find Your Keys

Still in the lock, hanging outside your front door

In the fridge, top shelf

In the pants you wore yesterday

In the garbage

In the dryer

Buried in the backyard next to Fluffy

Gripped in your ex-girlfriend’s hand while she watches you with binoculars from across the street

In that package that you sent to your eBay customer yesterday

In a pile of other shiny things where those damn raccoons hang out under your house

In the drawer where you keep your unmentionables

At the bottom of the front pocket of your invisibility cloak

In your big Bucket ‘O Keys

In your pocket, but in a different dimension

Transformed into a tiny robot that steals one sock at a time

What are “keys”?  We’ve always used combination locks on cars – you’ve been imagining this “key” thing this whole time

The last place you look



Posted By: Buffman
Last Edit: 27 Feb 2012 @ 11:34 PM

Categories: Humor


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