20 Dec 2013 @ 10:43 AM 


Diva Wife is shopping for a “Lovesac,” a giant couch-sized beanbag furniture thing to replace one of the couches that her cats has shredded into something that resembles fabric coleslaw.  We found one on Craigslist that is trying for a price that is much too high.  Here is their reply, and then mine back.



Thanks for your offer.  Unfortunately, $300 is significantly less than I would be willing to accept.  This item costs $1050 + tax new and is only nine months old with very little use (most people selling Lovesacs have had them for years).  I believe a 25% price reduction to account for the fact that it is a used item is reasonable.  That means I would need your offer to be about $800.  If you’re interested at that price level let me know.  If not, I do appreciate your interest.  Thanks again.


From: Jeff Young

Dear beanbag seller,

Thank you for your well-written reply.  It is rare to communicate with people in the land of Craigslist who have mastered subject-verb agreement.  Most sellers offer the written equivalent of a chimpanzee while he’s shrieking and throwing poo. 

In the verbal mastery area of the world, you are doing very well.  However, I fear that too much intelligence in your little skull is devoted to such areas, and not the appraisal of objects.  For example, your initial purchase of an $1100 beanbag is noteworthy.  You make a good point that most people reselling Lovesacs have had them for a few years.  I can only assume that you either had a thousand bucks laying around from a tax return or went on a manic bender of Red Bull, vodka, and Skittles and bought this thing impulsively.  The Buyer’s Remorse that you’re experiencing supersedes your better judgment and influences your appraisal skills to try to recover close to the original sale price.  If you ever stumble across a time machine, here is a better idea:  Don’t spend $1,100, buy one on Craigslist for $300.  Because that’s the going rate for great big beanbags.  Nobody sells them for $800.  That’s why this hasn’t sold for a month.    

When you buy a new car off the lot, it depreciates quickly because people like that new car smell and want to enjoy a brief period of time with no dings from getting rammed by grocery carts outside Albertson’s. 

But this isn’t a car, it’s a big fabric bag of foam pieces that has been collecting farts for the last 9 months.  You might think that you’ve kept it in new condition, but people often have skewed biases about things that are theirs.  For example, everyone thinks their kids are beautiful, but some of them do look like little weasels.  They parade their little weasels around in cute matching outfits for Christmas cards, but everybody is thinking the same thing. 

When you’re ready to come around and sell this for its current Craigslist market value, please let me know.  Think of the children.


(They haven’t replied yet, but I will update this post if they do.)

Posted By: Buffman
Last Edit: 20 Dec 2013 @ 10:43 AM

Categories: Humor


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